mixed valentine

today - well, yesterday - was our anniversary. i thought i'd've no chance to see my boy whatsoever but as luck would have it, he managed to book out today and we are able to see each other.

that's the nice part. the bad part is that his mother has had a mild stroke, and he had to book out to take care of her until someone else is able to fill in the spot, which is tomorrow.

this is... so... y'know, oddly perfect.

thank God for...

Kleenex.

i need to go to sleep, now. like, now.

too much of a good thing

yes, i like the attention from gentlemen.

but i only like it because it makes the man i love pay me more attention.


fuck it, i can be negative too. right now, i quit trying.

mulled

okay, i'd called my boy up and hollered.

well, not holler holler, but more of like, holler holler. as it happened, he denied it completely, saying he doesn't recall typing "thanks" in response to my show of affection.

then again, he sounded genuinely unaware...

words unsaid

his response to my "i love you"?

"thanks."




cb.

emo balance

i don't know if i should be glad or not when i say this: i'm emotionally balanced.

i don't quite feel the pinch when my boy and i part company anymore. i don't particularly feel it neither, when i miss his calls. the trip to taiwan and my trip to phuket may have something to do with it. heh.

when i don't wait, i really don't wait, huh. well. this is something new - let's see where this takes me.

peoplescape

i've found that the need to cheat is at a low when i'm happy with my partner (i use "partner" to refer to boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses alike, because that's what we are: partners walking the same path towards hopefully the same goal).

like the very cute indian chap i mentioned two posts back – yes, it'd be nice to see him, meet him up – but not in the heyheyhey-we're-gonna-do-dinner kind of way-hey (excuse me). not after my baby returned, anyway. heh. that's not to say he's not attractive. i maintain that he is, and he is quite a catch.

but that's where it ends, because i know my darling boy loves me (hate it when he doesn't tell me that he loves me though).

i suspect he knows something about how to keep his woman from straying, truth be told, even if she were someone as social as i am. it must sound clichéd but it's really the small stuff – an sms, a call – anything, really - that a girl's sweetheart does to let her know that she means a lot to him, that he loves her and that she's on his mind.

those do more than just a little to make me feel cherished, missed and keep me from looking elsewhere, even if it were just looking around at the landscape in general.

i find it particularly easy to somehow not-see the hot stuffs because 1) i need spectacles, 2) i am aware of the people around me as moving objects (that's all general peoplescape should be: moving objects) and 3) if i do recognise that it's a cutie i make it a point to not look a fifth time and concentrate on my darling boy instead.





..but seriously. who's better than the one i chose?


the only people who are people are the people that i made plans to meet up with and are meeting up with.


others? peoplescape.

stardusted - again

i went and caught stardust again.

i got misty-eyed at the same parts, i wished sorely, that he's there with me, again.

nope, it does not get easier with time, when you love someone.

"i want nothing more than to give you my heart, if you asked for it, asking for nothing in return, if only to know that you love me, too."

- star to tristan after he's been turned into an adorable bug-eyed mouse.


and she gave him his heart. and this is where i died trying to contain both tears and mirth.

indian

yes, i like indian. on my phuket trip i made several friends, all fun-loving and witty and intelligent. there are ang mohs, chinese, indians and well, a few malays. all in good fun, all in good faith.

then there's this indian chap who's a muslim. hot as heck, 32, with a kind of charming cheeky geekiness that i so love. and my, has he got a great set of pearlies. very, very attractive.

but too bad for me, i've my baby coming back on sunday, and i'm going to pick him up at the airport.


i would SO date this chap if i were single.

movie

i'd been to the movies last night, to watch "stardust", a novel by neil gaiman and now happy-ending-ed by hollywood. which is not necessarily a bad thing, methinks.

when i was watching the show, though, while i was tittering at the moving-and-funny moments i got all misty an' all, knowing that if my darling love were to be there with me he'd give me a big squeeze and kiss me, telling me, without words, that those are the words he would tell me if he could find them.


...unfortunately, he's no screenwriter, so he'll have to settle for moving heartfelt swoonsome oh my god romantic words written by someone else.

well. i missed him anyway and had so wanted to be the star to his tristan thorne.


...and i got misty-eyed again.

friday tomorrow

it's friday tomorrow. and i'm expected to go clubbing... i'm not keen on that. instead, i want to go have a nice dinner with some friends and play some computer games, then head home to bed.

then it'd be saturday. :) a saturday that will be pretty busy: meeting the girls up at 11, then home, then off to holland village. it'd be so nice, saturday. then sunday i'll probably head over to my mother's, say hello or something.

oops. just found out that meeting the girls up will be at 2pm instead! well, that works. :) either way that works. and yes, life is working out. amen.