MadTv Internet! - longer version

i need to sell those.

thus

and thus i refrain.*

* postscript: correction. it should be, thus i relinquish all responsibility. this is the time when i simply rely on Christ.

pattern?

it seems to start out like this.

i meet chap (or chap meets me, depending on how you want to look at it), we go hang out, chap falls headoverheels in love, i step in it, i resist, i get charmed then we get together -

all is rosy for a while, then somehow something happens along the way and we break up.


so many examples of that happening, even when i thought i've found the perfect person for me. i am wary.

i am so very wary now that i know i can be fooled. thus i resist.

he made my face burn

gosh. this is the first time in a long time that someone's made my face burn.

i was recounting via sms how my day squeaked by on my wheel of limited spokes (referring to how little i realise i know about the nature of my job) while having a headache at the same time as a result of running around like a headless chicken in places that were positively crawling with police and dignitaries alike. same thing with CIDs in suits.

but i digress.

so yes, he made my face burn. possibly because my guard was down, because i was tired and stressed when the sms popped in - but whatever it was it made my face burn.

simply by saying ”好想你哦“*


"i miss you so" in chinese

love?

i... think i'm in love. no, no relationship, still single - though i think i might be falling in love and i'm resisting it.

natural reaction to every love affair i've been in; resisting it right now. commitment phobia setting in: wanting it but not having any of it.


july. and i meet someone who brings me joy in july.

Sad Panda

dating

i guess this is what they call dating.

it be casual fun.

sing

and i know that this is the life i wanted.

i sang. on stage. impromptu. and loved it. loved them.



this is the life i want. the life i wanted, the life i still want.

and that's it. amen.

church

i went to church today, and had myself prayed over by the pastor... i wept.

again, not much reason to weep other than having to spend time sweating it out in the heat then not being able to tell stinky people off during church - because i might be smelling just like them.

the poor pastor got concerned and told me to "don't keep it all inside".. ^^'


i wanted to tell him i'm alright but he probably wouldn't have believed me, as i... er, really wept. hm.

i felt cleansed though, after service. emotionally and spiritually cleansed, if you will, and i felt better. cleaner, even - so it's all good. :)))


praise be to Lord. happy.

two gentlemen

it seems that i had been in the company of two gentlemen this evening - one of whom is chivalrous enough to open car doors for me. that, i'm glad to announce, is proof that chivalry is very much alive and that youth is not always an indication of maturity.

most of the time yes, but not all of the time i'm glad to report. for now at least, i hope he can keep that statement with him. :)


good, good. there is hope for womenkind. haha

something to make you laugh

really!

end of part one

well, the pageant's over - i was a finalist - and i slept till 8:30pm the next day. i've never felt so roundly satisfied, so pleased.

i didn't win any crowns, but boy was i glad that jenn and jas were there that day. the whole world could've been missing, but their presence made it all alright. i realise that these two people are still two of the most important people in my life. :)


i love you, babes. i feel very very blessed by God that i should have you two in my life. thank you, for being with me.

thank You, for giving me these two lovely friends.

gladness

at times like this i am so very glad that i have friends whom i call, sincerely, friends. jenn, jas, tammie et al.

the indescribable connection and well-being that i feel right now is... wow. if i were there with you, each one of you, i will hold your hand and squeeze it and tell you that i'm glad i'm there with you.

the heart, the heart!

the heart doesn't race for that someone anymore, to which i'm glad. basically that means i'm pretty much cool about most things, even when it comes to being on stage right now.

a certain clarissa is right: the stage fright wears off and suddenly, i shine. this i one of the best times of my life! rehearsals, friends, learning, laughs. i love it!