Sunday, December 30, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas
Christmas. good cheer, good cheer all round.
thank you, sweetheart, for the wonderful year. i love you!
thank you, sweetheart, for the wonderful year. i love you!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
ma-in-law - logorrhea
'tis scary. no, not her. and no, i don't have a ma-in-law yet, just this potential one who might be my ma-in-law. i feel like a country bumpkin speaking to her!
i almost bite my tongue when we converse - because the talks about soft toys and their pasts do not make sense to me and the overseas trips and geographical locations are alien and therefore do not mean a thing - but i cannot, because a conversation cannot happen when i bite my tongue. there is only so long you can smile and make eye-contact for, before you start feeling silly...
she's a nice lady.
i suddenly feel like i'm not good enough for his family, seeing as i am on my own and he has his family. why do i feel like this?? >_<
i almost bite my tongue when we converse - because the talks about soft toys and their pasts do not make sense to me and the overseas trips and geographical locations are alien and therefore do not mean a thing - but i cannot, because a conversation cannot happen when i bite my tongue. there is only so long you can smile and make eye-contact for, before you start feeling silly...
she's a nice lady.
i suddenly feel like i'm not good enough for his family, seeing as i am on my own and he has his family. why do i feel like this?? >_<
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
fear
yes, i fear.
the smiles you have in the morning does not assure me; the things you don't say don't assure me –
i feel somehow defeated, like i am caught in the sea on a boat without any oars.
to curl up and hide.
the smiles you have in the morning does not assure me; the things you don't say don't assure me –
i feel somehow defeated, like i am caught in the sea on a boat without any oars.
to curl up and hide.
love.
From The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
1. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite.
2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
3. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in.
4. Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry.
5. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
6. Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.
7. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.
8. In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present.
9. Thou shalt speak no evil.
10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
11. Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.
12. In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.
The Art of Courtly Love
From The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
1. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
2. He who is not jealous cannot love.
3. No one can be bound by a double love.
4. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
5. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
6. Boys do not love until they reach the age of maturity.
7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
8. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
9. No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love.
10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.
13. When made public love rarely endures.
14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of attainment makes it prized.
15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.
17. A new love puts an old one to flight.
18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
21. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
22. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.
26. Love can deny nothing to love.
27. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
28. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
29. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
30. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved.
31. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.
information from here.
1. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite.
2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
3. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in.
4. Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry.
5. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
6. Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.
7. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.
8. In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present.
9. Thou shalt speak no evil.
10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
11. Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.
12. In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.
The Art of Courtly Love
From The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus
1. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
2. He who is not jealous cannot love.
3. No one can be bound by a double love.
4. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
5. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
6. Boys do not love until they reach the age of maturity.
7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
8. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
9. No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love.
10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.
13. When made public love rarely endures.
14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of attainment makes it prized.
15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.
17. A new love puts an old one to flight.
18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
21. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
22. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.
26. Love can deny nothing to love.
27. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
28. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
29. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
30. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved.
31. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.
information from here.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
weekends vs weekdays
it doesn't matter whether i have more fun during the weekend or the weekday.
it's just not the same without you.
it's just not the same without you.
Monday, December 10, 2007
:)
and it did, many drinks and great company later.
and of course, he called and that was what really made it better. we spoke and chatted and laughed and had our usual banter... it's good to be happy together again.
and of course, he called and that was what really made it better. we spoke and chatted and laughed and had our usual banter... it's good to be happy together again.
it's just a heart-ache
it's just a heart-ache, nothing but a heart-ache – so the song goes.
the heart really aches. golly, but it does. i'm yet amazed by the powers of the heart.
it'll pass, yes it'll pass, as it must.
the heart really aches. golly, but it does. i'm yet amazed by the powers of the heart.
it'll pass, yes it'll pass, as it must.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
conscience
in all seriousness, amidst all this madness, i want to acknowledge that he tries. he tries really hard to make this work.
maybe it's just how we function, hey.
but how does a boy/girlfriend think that way of the other?? i don't get it.
love must be a funny thing!
maybe it's just how we function, hey.
but how does a boy/girlfriend think that way of the other?? i don't get it.
love must be a funny thing!
...mac's saved the day
yeah, push me away then pull me close.
no-can-do, sirree. i've macdonald's delivery. dinner. at home. unhealthy, but it's mine.
i know it won't play games with me.
no-can-do, sirree. i've macdonald's delivery. dinner. at home. unhealthy, but it's mine.
i know it won't play games with me.
pathetic
this is pathetic. hypocritical and pathetic. on one blog i say i'm a ray of sunshine but on this one i'm crying my effing eyes out. two nights' worth of crying.
but you tell me if you'd be like this, if someone you deem your best friend tells you that he thinks of you this way, and that he does not exactly expect you to take care of him when he's sick. and he's not just your best friend, he's your boyfriend.
come to think of it, why don't you tell me what more don't you expect from me?
nobody should make me cry, you hear me! NO-FUCKING-BODY!
FUCKING ARSEHOLE!
but you tell me if you'd be like this, if someone you deem your best friend tells you that he thinks of you this way, and that he does not exactly expect you to take care of him when he's sick. and he's not just your best friend, he's your boyfriend.
come to think of it, why don't you tell me what more don't you expect from me?
nobody should make me cry, you hear me! NO-FUCKING-BODY!
FUCKING ARSEHOLE!
ba-da-da-da-DA-DAAAA!
no use feeling down. it's not you, it's him! :D
you don't deserve to feel down, pei. nooo you don't. if he thinks you're like that then you're too good for him, eh?
who's a happy person? whoooo's a happy person? :)
you don't deserve to feel down, pei. nooo you don't. if he thinks you're like that then you're too good for him, eh?
who's a happy person? whoooo's a happy person? :)
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
NOW i have it!
now i have it. my boyfriend's a laissez-faire.
noun [U] (ALSO laisser-faire)
1. unwillingness to get involved in or influence other people's activities: The problems began long before he became headteacher, but they worsened with his laissez-faire approach/attitude.
this kind of attitude, alright, MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR SOMETHING DOWN. people who shouldn't be like that are: teachers/mentors, spouses, significant others, parents. if a teacher doesn't care or doesn't want to influence his students, then who should? yes, there are things like freedom of will, choice, whatnot, but if a teacher/parent does not instill some form of structure, then the kid will grow up an anarchist. you might as well instruct them to place bombs under cars or join the osala's camp!
well, i've had teachers like that and they simply make me think that they didn't care and i don't matter. yes they smile and we talk, but they didn't quite care, like they should, you know what i mean? it might be because they've been at this for a long long time and therefore are somewhat jaded... but then we're talking about people who are taking care of people who will later take care of other people. their growths, i mean.
it especially drives me up the wall when it's something closer to home, like the boyfriend. i mean, don't i matter? if i matter, isn't he going to try to influence me to continue to be with him?
it's like, "i'm leaving!"
"i don't want you to leave but if that's your choice, okay."
WTF?? translation? you don't matter enough for me to want to persuade/influence you to stay. and that's not good. if you don't want it enough, then you won't have it for very long.
being uninvolved... that's one thing a relationship should not be. >_<
noun [U] (ALSO laisser-faire)
1. unwillingness to get involved in or influence other people's activities: The problems began long before he became headteacher, but they worsened with his laissez-faire approach/attitude.
this kind of attitude, alright, MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR SOMETHING DOWN. people who shouldn't be like that are: teachers/mentors, spouses, significant others, parents. if a teacher doesn't care or doesn't want to influence his students, then who should? yes, there are things like freedom of will, choice, whatnot, but if a teacher/parent does not instill some form of structure, then the kid will grow up an anarchist. you might as well instruct them to place bombs under cars or join the osala's camp!
well, i've had teachers like that and they simply make me think that they didn't care and i don't matter. yes they smile and we talk, but they didn't quite care, like they should, you know what i mean? it might be because they've been at this for a long long time and therefore are somewhat jaded... but then we're talking about people who are taking care of people who will later take care of other people. their growths, i mean.
it especially drives me up the wall when it's something closer to home, like the boyfriend. i mean, don't i matter? if i matter, isn't he going to try to influence me to continue to be with him?
it's like, "i'm leaving!"
"i don't want you to leave but if that's your choice, okay."
WTF?? translation? you don't matter enough for me to want to persuade/influence you to stay. and that's not good. if you don't want it enough, then you won't have it for very long.
being uninvolved... that's one thing a relationship should not be. >_<
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
