the search

it seems that at twenty-five, i am still searching for bits of myself. bits and the understanding on how people work, how charisma works on people and how it works on me.

right now, i'm pretty glad that hey, i've this bunch of friends who offer "peer support" as this friend calls it.

i wonder what "peer support" means... haven't i got peer support already? hm. perhaps we only feel understood when we talk to someone who is in a similar position...? has that ever worked for me? will i feel better, perversely, telling people "oh, the woes of being [whatever it is that is causing you the woe]", because i might "feel special"? because of my "unique problem"?

haha what hogwash!

peer support. i wonder what it is. this perhaps might be a very very good thing indeed.


miraculously, i suddenly understand that i need not be shy about being affectionate. i don't have to apologise, nor explain. -chuckle-

thank You, God, for telling me so. i love You, too.


let me grow into a better, better, better version of Loren Lord, and soon, please. i want to be in time for Your plans, which i'm guessing are happening within this year. in You i trust and surrender to, Lord. Amen.