"the suitable one" vs "the right one"

i hope people realise the difference between having a person "suitable" for you and having one who's "right" for you.

i don't know about your definitions but i know mine goes somewhat like this (in one breath now!): "a suitable one" is one that fits the bill while "the right one" is one that you've been searching for and one you would fight to keep - the difference is that there will always be other "suitable ones" while there will only be one "right one".

and i want it to be the right one. i have so many right ones, thank God for his Grace and kindness upon me - and i want it to be the right one. yes, for what it matters, i want it to be the right one.

i may want a suitable person to be my company accountant, but i want the right one to keep my money. i may want a suitable tutor, but i must have the right mentor. i want to have put up in a suitable place, but i must live in the right one.

so you see?


there is a difference

"for one more day"

i began reading this book, and by the gods my heart ached, despite not going all achy-breaky over my own parents' struggles with each other.


it's funny how the author noticed this: "when death takes your mother, it it steals that word forever."

and that word is "mom".

empty feeling

`
















it's all so empty, suddenly.

about taking chances

classic!

something fun

http://www.lowbright.com/Comics/10Commandments/10Commandments.htm. it's good shit.

not attracteev?? >: x

not to be mistaken for a moment of vanity but a very real question.

...alright maybe it is - was talking to family and it was obvious that my sweet cousin didn't find me hawt.


well. ahem. true that it IS family and therefore i'm probably more lil kid sister than anything but WOI a girl is still a girl. >: x


i'm hawt, dammit! -kaopeh-

wild times ahead.

one-day-a-week weeks return. going to be another rough ride. well, we'll see what happens. and noooo sirree it won't be easy. i'd hate to even think that that particular day would arrive. good lord! >_<

pavvie gone home

pavarotti has passed on.

memories

memories of the photographed past
script inked on yellowed sheets

..poetry does not flow within me right now. suffice to say, thank you, for your gift of your future, your ring. i am sorry i could not accept, precisely because of your moral and contractual obligations towards someone else.

yes, it has been years, but for everything that we had and could have had - thank you.


i wish you well, i wish you happiness.

something that i want

y'know, here's something that i've always wanted. a volkswagon. a cute lil volkswagon bug.

and you see that dog over there? that be me when i'm finally in my volks.

alien hands

oh, fuck.

it's fifteen to 3am.

AAAAAAA

my kaypoh email

howdy-doo.

it's been some time, i know, and i suppose some of you miss me though it's more likely that you groan when you see that it's me again. -grin-

but like a roach, i suppose i die hard. except when you thwack them with a roll of newspapers - but let's not get into that.

well, truth be told, i'd been taken captive by the daily grind and been concentrating on the corporate climb. i'm succeeding pretty well actually and i'm rather happy on that front.

the reason why i am writing and foisting it off on my dear frrriends (you) is the fact that i feel the need to address a particular issue. i've seen weird relationships happen and it's time that i say something. when i say "weird relationships" i mean those that involve perfectly competent people who somehow seem to get themselves into the "bao sua bao hai" positions (for those unfamiliar with the term, "bao sua bao hai" literally translates to "hold mountain hold sea" in teochew and means "holdall") and then complain about it.

well, newsflash: you're being too nice.


or if you're the nasty one then you'll know what i'm talking about. ..okay, "nasty" one.

and it's true. since when have you felt respect for someone you can totally take a piss over? won't you hold the person who "scared the living daylights out of you" in better light than the former wussy ball-less pondscum, despite his or her abilities?

sure, there are many many MANY ways to argue this point, like how you are less likely to be trimmed when it's time for the company to "trim the fats" - but truly, unless your position is that unstable - i strongly suggest you pull a bit of weight on your own. that, though, does NOT mean you are going to respected when you are rude and aggressive. on the contrary.

and if you're still worried about that, an oblique question to ask is "which would you rather be, not-noticed, worthy opponent (if you have to step on some tails) or worthy ally (if you're going to be on the same team)?"


anyways, if you're ever in that position, maybe you are now reminded why. or perhaps you knew already, but are unable to do anything about it because of the lack of expertise or the lack of ...whatever. but assuming you're competent at your job but end up having to play mumsy to the people around you - well, you're at fault. and sometimes? you don't have to be the one doing it because "nobody's doing it". things can get done in the most unexpected of ways, you just have to figger out how.


i'll say it again: you're at fault, because you allowed it.

forget being "nice" and "well-liked". how about some "respect" that comes with "well-liked", anyway? because nobody said pulling your own weight means being nasty. and the best bit? you don't have to bend over backwards: just say what you mean and mean what you say.

i hope i hadn't sounded pompous or like i was giving a sermon, though it's likely that i did.


hoping this one serves as a "timely reminder" for those who need it.

a new beginning

yes, i've deleted each and every one of the posts in this blog.

can you imagine HOW MANY CONFIRMATIONS i have to make when deleting them posts????

geebus.


but yes. this site, i declare, is no longer a site for my boyfriend's eyes only. it is open again, to "public", and please, share your comments and experiences. no more dramatic entries - i gotta respect myself more! :)


this is not a game, this is not a challenge. this is me getting my confidence level back, this is me being the happy person i was before i get into relationships. don't mistake me, i enjoyed your company, but these days - the quality of love you're giving to me - just doesn't cut it. it's like you're trying to play the stud.

i want to be happy. i want to be happy like i used to be happy. because no matter where i am, what i do and whom i'm with, i was happy. and i mean 98% of the time. now? oddly homey and weepy.

and you're not even the "bad boy" kind of person, who'm i kidding? if you can do this to me then it's screwy. I'M screwy, because i allowed it. and that's no-go zone.

well. having said that now.

i will continue to grow into who i am, who i will be. "weepy" and "pining" will not be in the list of words i use to describe myself.

i will mature as a bamboo plant will, because i am a bamboo plant and not a sunflower. i do not - WILL NOT - follow the sun all day.


yes, the old me is coming back. "i" have returned.

and if this works, great. if not, i've had a great time. who knows what the future holds, eh? i'm glad for all that's happened thus far, the good the bad and the effin' ugly.

cause without those i never would've arrived at this, finally. you may have known this your whole life but hey, i now know it too. :) i need to love myself, and now i am secure.