my kaypoh email

howdy-doo.

it's been some time, i know, and i suppose some of you miss me though it's more likely that you groan when you see that it's me again. -grin-

but like a roach, i suppose i die hard. except when you thwack them with a roll of newspapers - but let's not get into that.

well, truth be told, i'd been taken captive by the daily grind and been concentrating on the corporate climb. i'm succeeding pretty well actually and i'm rather happy on that front.

the reason why i am writing and foisting it off on my dear frrriends (you) is the fact that i feel the need to address a particular issue. i've seen weird relationships happen and it's time that i say something. when i say "weird relationships" i mean those that involve perfectly competent people who somehow seem to get themselves into the "bao sua bao hai" positions (for those unfamiliar with the term, "bao sua bao hai" literally translates to "hold mountain hold sea" in teochew and means "holdall") and then complain about it.

well, newsflash: you're being too nice.


or if you're the nasty one then you'll know what i'm talking about. ..okay, "nasty" one.

and it's true. since when have you felt respect for someone you can totally take a piss over? won't you hold the person who "scared the living daylights out of you" in better light than the former wussy ball-less pondscum, despite his or her abilities?

sure, there are many many MANY ways to argue this point, like how you are less likely to be trimmed when it's time for the company to "trim the fats" - but truly, unless your position is that unstable - i strongly suggest you pull a bit of weight on your own. that, though, does NOT mean you are going to respected when you are rude and aggressive. on the contrary.

and if you're still worried about that, an oblique question to ask is "which would you rather be, not-noticed, worthy opponent (if you have to step on some tails) or worthy ally (if you're going to be on the same team)?"


anyways, if you're ever in that position, maybe you are now reminded why. or perhaps you knew already, but are unable to do anything about it because of the lack of expertise or the lack of ...whatever. but assuming you're competent at your job but end up having to play mumsy to the people around you - well, you're at fault. and sometimes? you don't have to be the one doing it because "nobody's doing it". things can get done in the most unexpected of ways, you just have to figger out how.


i'll say it again: you're at fault, because you allowed it.

forget being "nice" and "well-liked". how about some "respect" that comes with "well-liked", anyway? because nobody said pulling your own weight means being nasty. and the best bit? you don't have to bend over backwards: just say what you mean and mean what you say.

i hope i hadn't sounded pompous or like i was giving a sermon, though it's likely that i did.


hoping this one serves as a "timely reminder" for those who need it.