conversation

Friend: anyway, it's an old problem... bad habit that i need to kick
Me: hmmm
Me: y'know, sometimes when you aren't the one with the problems
Me: the other person will have the problems. i'm just not sure if your wanting to let go of "baggage" - for lack of a less offensive term - is necessary
Me: cause i think the reason why you're doing this is because your guy's not around and you want attention, like any neglected woman wants attention
Me: and with different guys, there will be different baggages that come up
Me: it's just that sometimes a person is more prone to using the same "defence mechanism" to deal with it
Me: if it's become damaging to the relationship, then okay, have to drop. but that does not mean the source of the issue (his side also) has been resolved.
Me: "resolved"
Me: for this particular one (in your case) i think it might be a chicken and egg
Friend: yeah
Friend: agree
Me: ..does it.. yeah. i was about to ask if it makes sense when i put it like that
Friend: i dont deny that fact that this is chicken n egg prob
Friend: at same time, i believe one party has to initiate willingness for a change..
Friend: mayb this case, i hope i can b strong enough to do that for him
Friend: though i know it's really not easy.. im almost struggling here.. but i guess till now, im still willing to make effort for this change
Me: yeah. i just hope he's appreciative. i too am willing to make the change... but guess what... he didn't want that change.
Friend: ya.. i know.. that's why i didnt even attempt to 'talk' u out of ur decision...
Friend: if he doesnt even want it, n it's not worth it, fighting so hard for both of u.. n fighting it alone..
Me: haha
Me: tough, no?
Friend: tough for wanting to make things better?
Me: actually, yeah.