forced

today, i came home from a day of cross-border running around chasing anwar's shirttails, to remember that hey, i forgot to pay rent - so i went ahead and paid it.

then when the money was being carefully counted then folded by my landlady - like how an obvious trap unfolds in a horror movie because the scene is just too quiet - the house caretaker nonchalantly mentioned "the phone that i'd given ('given') to my maid is very hard to use."

i immediately knew something was up, considering i had intended to throw that phone away personally or burn it because it was 1) faulty and 2) holds digital mementos that will undoubtedly stir up memories.

- the house "care taker" (but the landlord's "buddy")continued, "also, there is the addressbook and other information inside it, you better clear!"

suffice to say, i was not happy. it is obvious that he'd gone through my phonebook, my sms-es, and of course, my photos in the phone. and i'm not being paranoid - this is the person who'd go through a person's BANK BOOK just because he (the previous tenant) accidentally left it behind. the house "care taker".

ahem, let me say that again. the house "care taker".

pui!


so i politely but grimly asked the maid for the phone, raced upstairs with it and deleted, one by painful one, the pictures that i'd taken from more than one year ago.

oh look, that's him before he got his hair shorn, on that island i'd rather not mention.

hey, that's me when i had longer, rebonded hair. how together we looked, how ha... how happy. despite him going into the army that day, we looked happy.


right.

there was no way to "select all" and there certainly was no "delete selected" options in the phone. so ...yes, i was forced.

one.

by.

painful.

one.


...then came the sms-es. i don't know which is worse. seeing us happy together, or reading the three words from very nearly 1 year ago.

"i love you," he wrote, on 13th march, 2007.


"i love you."

"i've decided that you're The One," i'd replied.



it's almost hilarious as i imagine watching myself from a short distance away, right now. i've my face mask on, a quick facial - the mask must have cracked but moisture would've muddied some parts of it. i must look a sight.

yeah, a greenish, cracked-up, muddied sight. almost hilarious.