lone

at times like this, when i'm back in my own room to some hours of solitude and quietness, i sit before the computer and start to type. at the end of the day, i start to type.

then i find out how tough it is to do so with false nails. nabeh.


ahem.

well, suffice to say, this is a beautiful period, with tammie. she's a ray of sunshine and she's someone i am growing to love, though she gets the heebie-jeebies when i tell her that in person lol! come to think of it, she's turned up for my ms earth pageant just to support me today at chinatown point, even when she's not involved.

yeah, she's sweet-tempered and smiley. she's assertive in the charming way as well. i've lots to learn from her.

..she is what i look for in a friend, can talk, we can chat, share make-up, clothes, support. with her i feel like she really cares for me, and that makes me want to care for her.

no, not turning lesbian on anyone - i'm too homophobic personally to go anywhere near that. no offense to gays out there, it's just that i personally cannot stomach the idea of me being attracted to another girl "in that way". so yes, rest assured that i'm still very straight, very very normal.

uhm. okay, i'll settle for very straight, since i foresee that quite a few of you will dispute the "normal" tag. heh. bitches. that includes you, osala! hahahaa!

but seriously, if i were ever to have a sister, i'd want that sister to be like her.


well, i guess i feel a little lonesome right now, living alone... though i'm willing to bet that the source of this slight bluesy-wuesy feeling is the actual result of hunger... : P

yeah, been hitting the calculator hard recently with the pageants going on. loving every moment of it, the excitement, the make-up, the limelight, the whole "being beautiful" thing. knowing that i am loved. : )

this limelight, make-up and pageantry's all new to me! rest assured though, i remain very much in tune with who i am, as today's sermon warns: what you have is not yours. you are steward of everything you possess, your smarts, your voice, your ability to walk, run, jump - money, house, heck, even yer dog.

thus.

i know i can sing and i'm going to get groomed. i will ace this, i know. i will be joyous and prosperous and fit in to the very idea of "wildly successful".

i also know that i will still be me when i find riches and fame. i would have grown even more then, and most of it will be good. having said that, i will continue to have that humility with me, because of the foundations that are being set right now, with iglamour. they teach well.

yes, i have come to the right place. yes, yes, yes and yes. praise be to God.