misinterpretation?

i was just recalling my conversation with someone earlier today - at this illogical hour - that i mentioned "seems like we're drifting further and further apart" when he mentioned he wanted to do his masters and whatnot.

then he said that settling down is not part of his priorities right now. it didn't hit me just then but it's getting me now: does "drifting further and further apart" mean "i want to settle down with you now"? did he take it as a hint from me to "MARRY ME, RIGHT NOW"?

the last time i checked the two were unrelated, even in my odd dictionary. is it a case of male over-sensitivity to commitment? i don't know, but i sure know that i'd been misunderstood. pity i didn't catch that just now.

i know i'd like to have him in my life, but if he's not it then alright. moving on, laughing while at it. marriage - doesn't quite matter whom it's with - not until i'm very much older, please. i feel i need to develop me personality some more; i feel like i hadn't grown fully yet. if i were to get married now it'd probably end up in divorce, and i only want to marry once and stick with that one.

don't mistake me: i like romance. marriage, however, is something different altogether, something i want to be slow about. i still haven't seen the world. i still haven't made my mark. i still want to roam, lead my life, have fun, laugh. i want to be glad to leave my past behind when i get married, that's when i know i've had my fun.

i think marriage's something that happens naturally. like how a seed must sprout when given the right conditions.


and no, no kids.

not yet. not until i'm stable in my own career and can pull my own weight, even after i'm pregnant and/or with kids running about the house. that might translate to what, 35 and above?

lol i don't know.


and there it is again. how i dislike being misunderstood like that. can i be understood nicely, appropriately? i hesitate to call each time that happens. i hesitate to try.