closer

CLOSER is a play written by Patrick Marber that was made into a film of the same name in 2004 - i'd chanced upon it when we saw it on tv, at jas's. also one of a certain ms tan's favoured films.

the show offers simple, concise dialogue; the sets are decidedly "play-like"; handling of timeline is brilliant (also very play-like) - though some do not like it in films. the cast was well-chosen, with jude law playing ..what he plays best, nat portman, like julia roberts, offer stellar performances while not losing none of the original feel of it being a play. so did clive owens, for that matter: he made a very believable doctor-cum-"nemesis" caught in this kind of situation.

wikipedia said the movie is about betrayals, instant attractions, what-not - but i think it is about chance encounters, decisions to fall or not fall in love, not really understanding what - who - you have in your hands right now and having to climb mountains and swim seas to finally learn that what you had was the best thing you could ever be blessed with. all of these - portrayed in stingingly ironic plain-ness.

this film will leave a bitter-sweet taste in your mouth and have you reminisce past loves ... it will give you reason to smile (or cry, depending on which character you most identify with and at what stage in love and/or life you are at right now).


i strongly recommend it to people who are emotionally stable and at peace, cause otherwise, this will more than make you cry.


(film HERE)

snigle

and then there's the thing at jasmi's tomorrow... yay more eye-candy.

singlehood's fun!


i love you baby, but you didn't know what a great thing you have. too bad.

valentine's - decoded

well, i was supposed to meet a friend up on 13th feb but is turned out that he was down with the flu, so he postponed it to the 14th. which happened to be valentine's day.

and he's cooking.


he's not a very good cook, but the food was passable when i ate it and we had a very yummy bottle of white wine and i even managed to catch a glimpse of the train through the leaves at night. suffice to say, it was wonderful, albeit unintentional. anyhoos: the night was fine, the atmosphere friendly and nowhere near "i like you you like me" - it was very easy and i enjoyed it thoroughly. perfect valentine's evening, honestly. i loved his place: very rustic, very natural and most of all, very peaceful, quiet and very, very "village". (if i can say that in a french way i would. vill-ar-che. there.)

so that was a nice valentine's... and then there's friday, which is today. i met up with the friday gang and we had drinks at harry's - (met up with my primary schoolmate whom i hadn't seen for "a dozen years" and omigosh how she's blossomed!) - and it was great. we had drinks, then we gatecrashed some event and got invited to indochine by the owner micheal ma his good self.

i personally find him (micheal ma) very charming without being overtly so, and he cuts a naturally impressive figure. he definitely looks like someone i'll tip my hat at when i see him at social situations.

aaaanyhoos, we had a hoot and a holler there, it was great. and my prayers went answered: i wanted a nice time and that someone send me home.

all was fulfilled, through His gracious love. THANK YOU, LORD!


Your Name i eternally praise! THANK You, for the wonderful evening, for the great valentine's day, the lifting me up after my breakup and keeping me soaring on a high note, and the wonderful times to come. thank YOU, O Lord, for Your great love.


i love You, too. Lord Jesus' Name i praise. Amen.

valentine's.

i had a great valentine's. with wine, he cooked me something and ...i caught glimpses of a train amongst leaves in the night.

it was magical.

it was a fantastic valentine's, despite us being unintentionally having a meal together on a day lovers commemorate. it was nice.

friends

well, friends are we or... are we?

i wish he were a little more forthcoming. how do we be friends otherwise?

meep

i don't understand why i'd been this tired lately... might be that i need to turn in earlier. well, whatever it is, i'm glad that my investment wheels are being put in place to turn. so that's very good! >: D

i called him last night, just to see how he was and he sounded upbeat, which is a good thing. but he said it's been a rollercoaster ride and he got into big trouble.

refused to tell me what, though he said it was over "something silly".


did he get it because he was checking my blog? that is something silly. silly but endearing to a person hoping against quasi-inborn realism, at least.

.....then again, he might've gotten into trouble because of something else. i'm not "important" anymore, so to speak. why'd he get into trouble because of me? least of all checking my blog.

..i'm too naive.

passing on

oh yah. ah meng died.

let us all observe a minute's silence.

air-conditioned chill

today, i found some comfort in the office's air-conditioned chill. it gave me something to anchor myself with, to the present - instead of being washed away by unbridled memories and thoughts.

...this morning i did something very brave. i made him feel better. through cheeky sentiments expressed via sms in response to his initial note, i know i made him feel better. i hope that's good for him to cope... on my end, i'll have to be content that i'm probably the one doing the thinking for the both of us, and i'll have to find my own champions - imaginary or otherwise - to fight my wars.

he is no longer "available" to help me fob off suitors... then again, he never was.


i've been alone before, it was easy. it will not get hard now. thus begins the walk to recovery: "hutt hutt hutt hutt hutt!"

holland v

i was out at holland v after heading to eunos for lunch right, and as i was getting out of the car i saw a young man piggy-backing his girlfriend through the carpark... and i realise, that it does not quite matter where you are to feel the heartache.

sure, being confined in the army can be a bummer, considering you do not have privacy most of the time, but you're being kept busy and you're probably too busy to do anything more than whatever it is at hand. being "outside" has its merits and demerits as well... like seeing the things i see. imagine valentine's day, hey. i'll probably have to blind myself and walk with a cane to and from work, keep the radio off and go nowhere near newpaper, which is going to be full of sappy declarations of love.

if i don't blind myself then i must walk quickly, and look nobody - nobody - in the eye. maybe do what jasmi does when i do see couples - "receding hairline!"

conversation

Guy Friend: whatcha up to so early?
Me: trying to get over the breakup
Guy Friend: *hug*
Me: thank you
Guy Friend: i'm here if you need someone to talk to.
Me: thank you...
Me: there's really nothing more to say (not to you, anyway)
Me: just "ouch".
Me: "ouch ouch."
Me: "..ouch"

the good stuff only

y'know, i try to only remember the good stuff. i don't want to get angry at you, or at me, or at situations you hadn't learnt to deal with - or situations i hadn't learnt to deal with.

i just want you to be happy, less tired. i also want to feel less wronged.

it's dragged on long enough, causing both of us distress. yet you remain the person i want to marry.


---
i want you to be happy... and if being angry at me makes it easier, then go ahead - use my picture as a dartboard. if loving me has been painful, i'm glad i finally found the courage to let you go.

please believe me when i tell you i do this unwillingly. i will remember how your kisses feel, i will remember your smile when you wake and see me in the morning, i will remember your delight when you get your lemonade.. i will remember how you reach out to hold my hand, how i felt when i danced with you.

maybe you're right when you ask how i can ever know how you feel - how do i know the things you do not say nor show?

then again, that's another story. i do not want to pair your name with sadness and unhappiness. you are love, personified. you are my love. my. love. you gave me, discounting the "recent" times, the best relationship i've had so far.


this isn't denial neither. this is my gift to you, so to speak. i honour you with good thoughts only, in thanks of your love.

hey, maybe the only person crying when we see each other next is me. who knows how the other feels, eh?


thank you, for your love.

good and bad

the good thing about living alone is that you enjoy your solitude, your peace.

the bad thing about it is that nobody will know your pains and nobody will witness your tears. i miss him.

i miss him very much, though i know he will never have met me up even if we were still together. but now he has a very good reason: we're no longer together.

there is no need.

you're the one who makes me shy

...the lingering scent of you on my skin makes it this much harder.







i love you. i still do.

very much.

ba-da-da-da-DA-DAAAA!

no use feeling down. it's not you, it's him! :D

you don't deserve to feel down, pei. nooo you don't. if he thinks you're like that then you're too good for him, eh?

who's a happy person? whoooo's a happy person? :)

query

boyfriend: "dear, is my belt at your place?"

mixed valentine

today - well, yesterday - was our anniversary. i thought i'd've no chance to see my boy whatsoever but as luck would have it, he managed to book out today and we are able to see each other.

that's the nice part. the bad part is that his mother has had a mild stroke, and he had to book out to take care of her until someone else is able to fill in the spot, which is tomorrow.

this is... so... y'know, oddly perfect.

stardusted - again

i went and caught stardust again.

i got misty-eyed at the same parts, i wished sorely, that he's there with me, again.

nope, it does not get easier with time, when you love someone.

"i want nothing more than to give you my heart, if you asked for it, asking for nothing in return, if only to know that you love me, too."

- star to tristan after he's been turned into an adorable bug-eyed mouse.


and she gave him his heart. and this is where i died trying to contain both tears and mirth.

indian

yes, i like indian. on my phuket trip i made several friends, all fun-loving and witty and intelligent. there are ang mohs, chinese, indians and well, a few malays. all in good fun, all in good faith.

then there's this indian chap who's a muslim. hot as heck, 32, with a kind of charming cheeky geekiness that i so love. and my, has he got a great set of pearlies. very, very attractive.

but too bad for me, i've my baby coming back on sunday, and i'm going to pick him up at the airport.


i would SO date this chap if i were single.

movie

i'd been to the movies last night, to watch "stardust", a novel by neil gaiman and now happy-ending-ed by hollywood. which is not necessarily a bad thing, methinks.

when i was watching the show, though, while i was tittering at the moving-and-funny moments i got all misty an' all, knowing that if my darling love were to be there with me he'd give me a big squeeze and kiss me, telling me, without words, that those are the words he would tell me if he could find them.


...unfortunately, he's no screenwriter, so he'll have to settle for moving heartfelt swoonsome oh my god romantic words written by someone else.

well. i missed him anyway and had so wanted to be the star to his tristan thorne.


...and i got misty-eyed again.

friday tomorrow

it's friday tomorrow. and i'm expected to go clubbing... i'm not keen on that. instead, i want to go have a nice dinner with some friends and play some computer games, then head home to bed.

then it'd be saturday. :) a saturday that will be pretty busy: meeting the girls up at 11, then home, then off to holland village. it'd be so nice, saturday. then sunday i'll probably head over to my mother's, say hello or something.

oops. just found out that meeting the girls up will be at 2pm instead! well, that works. :) either way that works. and yes, life is working out. amen.